HERE'S WHAT READERS ARE SAYING:

From: Anonymous (please)
Hometown: Richmond, Virginia
Name of newspaper column was read in: Richmond Times-Dispatch (January 23rd, 2005)

It's commendable of the five states to grant adopted children complete access to their birth certificate which contains the names of their biological parents; even for those adopted before the laws were passed. My opinion is that making adoptive records available is the right thing to do. I'm not sure how I feel about privacy rights of biological parents; but my children and I should be knowledgeable of our genetic history.
Why? Not knowing your genetic history places adopted individuals at a great disadvantage. Individuals raised within their biological families are afforded the opportunity to head-off hereditary cancers, diseases (e.g., Alzheimer's, etc.), and future concerns (e.g. birth defects, diabetes, etc.). During my pregnancies doctor's asked of my parent's medical history, including but not limited to illnesses, diseases, and other unknown medical conditions. Of course, when the questions started, I immediately informed them of my adoption; and, my inability to answer questions surrounding my biological and genetic history. I have wonderful adoptive parents; but they are closed-lipped about any details concerning my biological parents.
Now…at age 43, a happy marriage, healthy kids (whom have experienced corrected medical surgeries and treatments), and a stable career, I'm extremely curious of my biological parents (e.g., who are they? What do they look like? Where are they now? And, do I have biological siblings?). At this phase of my life, I'd like most of all to know the answers to all of the questions asked by doctors concerning the genetics of my biological family tree. Hopefully, with opening records of adopted individuals, many of us can research our genetic history in hopes of securing a healthier future for our biological children and ourselves. It is my prayer that Virginia will soon join New Hampshire, Oregon, Alabama, Alaska, and Kansas "in giving children adopted in," its state, "complete access to their birth certificates, which often contain the names of their biological parents."

Good Afternoon, Mr. Seglin;

I am C. S. Kessler, based in Richmond, Virginia, and I read your column published January 23 in the Richmond Times-Dispatch (page G-8).

You mentioned that there are now a total of only FIVE (that IS a sad state of afairs) U. S. states and Comomonwealths that legally require avauilable access to adoption records for adoptees. Hey, that should - SHOULD - be a Federal requirement for ALL U. S. states and territories and possessions.

My Lady was an adoptee; her adoptive "parents" had some goofy notion of keeping the adoption thing secret from her and her adopted sibling. Great. JUST great. Now my Lady is not only grown, but has a grown son and a case of diabetes with marginally high blood pressure. She DOES, however, wish to thank her biomom for not simply "disposing of her". I do too.

She did not even have the right uintil recently to have ANY access to medical history of the bioparents, STILL does NOT have the medical information, and this really scares us. As of now, she also has no real idea what OTHER medical problems she may have biologically inherited a tendency for. Her doctors would also like to se this information. MIGHT help keep her alive.

Okay, then lets not stop at just merely requiring the info to be "available" to adoptees after a diligent and VERY patient (and expensive) search - lets make it Federally REQUIRED for this medical info to be DISCLOSED WITHOUT ASKING to the adoptees and SEPARATELY to their adoptive parents. Now THAT sounds FAIR.

Kess

To Whom It May Concern,

Why is there an implied protection for people who have children out of wedlock, etc. but no protections for the children they gave up?
I, as an adoptee, have a right to my heritage and my health history. I do not have the right to foist myself on an unwilling birthparent but I do have a right to know where I came from. People who are not adopted have the right to this information. I pay taxes,I vote, and last time I checked was an American citizen...
I found my birthparents even though I was adopted in a state where the laws are almost insurmountable - Louisiana. My birthmother was not promised confidentiality nor did she desire it, she left all contact information with the agency that handled my adoption and was quite stunned to know that I was not able to have access to that information.
I wonder how many other birthparents have no idea that their children have no access to their history? I would also like to know how many birthmothers wanted or were promised confidentiality?
Thank you for letting me vent.

Sincerely,
Kellen - reunited with birthmother in June 2004 at 35 years old.

I am a birthmother. I lost a child to adoption at her birth in 1965. I was promised NOTHNG, given nothing, told nothing. I was 18 years and 3 months old, and was not told what adoption agency handled the adoption, was not given a copy of the papers I signed.
But most importantly for your question: I was promised nothing. I was told to go on with my life, forget, get over it. One must go on of course, but there is no forgetting or getting over it. After over 30 years of secrecy I finally came out of the birthmother's closet, started talking and searching, and now even after four years of good reunion with my birthdaughter, I am crying composing this email.
More recent birthparents were perhaps promised privacy. That changes nothing. No one can ethically promise birthparents or adoptive parents that their children will never be provided with their accurate birth certificate.
The amended bin>Thursday, June 23, 2005.

Graveside service: 1 p.m. Monday in Dallas-Fort Worth National Cemetery. Visitation: 6 to 9 p.m. Sunday at Bluebonnet Hills Funeral Home.

Memorials: In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Open Hands, in care of Colleyville Church of Christ.

Ralph traveled to Texas at age 1 in a covered wagon. He grew up in Old Glory.

He was in the Civilian Conservation Corps and was a sergeant in the Army Air Corps during World War II as a B-25 gunnery instructor. He worked in the oilfields in his early years and was employed for over 25 years with Cummins Diesel as a diesel specialist.

His hobbies included travel, auto restoration and gardening. He was a member and former elder of Colleyville Church of Christ.

His family came second only to God. He was a devoted husband, daddy, granddaddy, great-granddaddy and brother.

He was loved by all who knew him and will be greatly missed.

Ralph was preceded in death by brother, Vernon D. McBroom.

Survivors: Wife of 64 years, Opal Jo McBroom; daughters, Connie McBroom and Julie McKinney and husband, Jim; granddaughters, Erin Willingham and husband, Blake and Colleen Miller and husband, Matt; great-grandchildren, Jake and Cole Miller and Brynn and Braden Willingham; and brothers and sisters, Orville A. McBroom of Wichita Falls, Henry A. McBroom of North Richland Hills, Iva Dean Heller of Morristown, Pa., Novelle Perryman of Bryson, Vonell Rosson of Ben Wheeler and Waymond McBroom of Fredericksburg.

Bluebonnet Hills Funeral Home

Colleyville, (817) 498-5894

View and sign guestbook at

www.star-telegram.com/obituaries

Bill J. McQuade

GRANBURY -- Bill J. McQuade, 85, passed away Friday, June 24, 2005, in Granbury.

Funeral: 11:30 a.m. Tuesday at Acton Baptist Church, 3500 Fall Creek Highway, Granbury. Burial: Restland Cemetery, Dallas. Visitation: 2 to 4 p.m. Sunday at Greenwood Funeral Home.

Bill was born Nov. 11, 1919, to Lola and William McQuade. He was a loving husband, father and grandfather.

He was vice president of marketing at International Service Insurance Company in Fort Worth for 21 years. He was also an active member of Acton Baptist Church. Bill's hobbies were collecting stamps, coins, working crossword puzzles and watching sports.

Survivors: Wife of 63 years, Mary Louise McQuade of Granbury; son, Kenneth McQuade of Granbury; daughter-in-law, Martha McQuade of Arizona; grandsons, Robert McLemore and Shiloh McLemore, both of New Mexico.

Greenwood Funeral Home

3100 White Settlement Rd., (817) 336-0584

View and sign guestbook at

www.star-telegram.com/obituaries

Jim Medlock

BOYD -- Jim Medlock, 62, a construction worker, died Thursday, June 23, 2005, in Wise County.

Funeral: 10:30 a.m. Tuesday at Christian-Hawkins Funeral Chapel. Visitation: 6 to 8 p.m. Monday at the funeral home.

Survivors: Sons, Victor Lee, Mike and Randy Wayne Medlock; daughters, Terri Lynn Young, Lora Broyles, Michelle Snodderly and Anita Johnson; 17 grandchildren; three great-grandchildren; mother, Flora Medlock; brother, Ronnie Medlock; sister, Neoka Lou Anderson.

Christian-Hawkins Funeral Home

Boyd, (940) 433-5310

Ola "Beatrice" May Pate

FORT WORTH -- Ola "Beatrice" May Pate's soul was transferred by the Lord from her earthly home to her new heavenly home at 5:35 p.m. Wednesday, June 22, 2005, in White Settlement. She was 86.

Celebration of life: 11 a.m. Monday at Birchman Baptist Church. Burial: Greenwood Memorial Park, until that "great getting-up morning." Visitation: 2 to 4 p.m. Sunday at Greenwood Funeral Home.

Ola "Beatrice" May Pate was a wonderful wife and soulmate to her husband of 67 years, a loving mother to her children and a dear friend to everyone who knew her. She served faithfully beside her husband, Bobbie, who was pastor to Deacons earn vote of confidence ACC media poll has Wake Forest on top; Clemson in ninth By JON SOLOMON, Staff Writer Knight Ridder

GREENSBORO, N.C. —Clemson starts another ACC men’s basketball season with low expectations from the prognosticators.

The Tigers were picked ninth in the conference during voting by media members Sunday at the annual ACC Operation Basketball. Clemson received 256 points in the 91-person ballot to place ahead of newcomers Virginia Tech and Miami.

“Where else are they going to put us?” Clemson forward Olu Babalola said. “I’m fine with that. We know what we can do, but we haven’t proven that yet.”

Wake Forest was the clear preseason favorite with 65 first-place votes. Behind the Demon Deacons was North Carolina and national runner-up Georgia Tech.

Injury bug. Purnell expressed concern about the hip pointer injury to point guard Vernon Hamilton, who has not practiced since Oct. 22. If Hamilton cannot practice today, Purnell said he might shut down Hamilton for a while so the injury does not nag him.

With Olu Babalola (sprained ankle, tendinitis), James Mays (sprained ankle) and Steve Allen (dislocated shoulder) also injured, Purnell canceled two scrimmages last week. Assistant coach Frank Smith practiced one day to field 10 players.

Shooting guard Shawan Robinson could receive extra work at point guard in preparation for Friday’s exhibition game. Right now, Purnell said his starting lineup Friday would be guards Cliff Hammonds and Robinson, center Sharrod Ford and forwards Akin Akingbala and Cheyenne Moore.

Purnell said the uncertain status of point guard Troy Mathis, who is appealing a one-year suspension, would not factor into Hammonds starting or not.

“(Hammonds) has probably played as good and as intense defensively as anybody,” Purnell said. “You tell guys every year, ‘My best defensive guy is going to play,’ and he’s taking that to heart.”

Delivering appeal. Because Clemson has fall break today and Tuesday, Mathis has until Wednesday to file his appeal with Clemson president Jim Barker. E. Delane Rosemond, Mathis’ lawyer, said he would use the next two days to finish the appeal letter.

Clemson public affairs officer Cathy Sams said the university could impose sanctions on Mathis without waiting for his trial on assault and battery. No trial date has been set.

“This is the standard procedure at universities nationwide,” Sams said.

Said Rosemond: “They don’t have to wait until this case goes to court. But there’s no harm to them if they wait.”

Calling J.J. Maryland fans found a new way to harass Duke guard J.J. Redick beyond chanting his name with obscenities.

“I didn’t harbor any ill feelings toward Maryland, other than the fact I had to change my cell phone number about three times because somehow it got out and people were handing it out at bars and parties,” Redick said. “I was getting about 50 to 75 prank calls a day. Other than that, I wasn’t really mad.”

ACC memento. Maryland coach Gary Williams has an ACC Tournament banner in his home from the tournament he won last season in Greensboro, N.C. The title was Maryland’s first in 20 years and especially sweet for Williams, who objects to how often the tournament is played in North Carolina.

Asked how the banner got in his home, Williams replied coyly: “It just happened to show up.”

Reach Solomon at (864) 224-9778 or at solomonjt2003@yahoo.com.

I think parents who give up their children for adoption are entitled to
privacy. There needs to be, and is in most states, a registry so that
parents and children who wish to find each other may do so. There also
needs to be a registry where genetic/hereditary information may be passed
on to the child (and questions answered) without revealing names.
As you probably know, newborns are sometimes left in a dumpster by parents
who do not want to be identified. Breaking privacy on adoption records
encourages this.

-Russ
Orange, CA
The Orange County Register

Hi, I was adopted when i was 4 months old. i met my birth mom in 2002, i think that it is a good idea about the adoptions. i found out i was adopted when i was 5 years old. i have met my birth father only once, my birth mom got my actual birth certificate for me. so now i have 2, i saw my birth family often. i see my birth mom's mom every week. take care, Mark

Fountain Valley, CA

i saw the article in the Orange
County Register.

Dear Mr. Seglin:

Your query about adoptions really caught my attention! My husband was one of the many children whose heritage was hidden from him for many years. Resulting from my diligent, arduous search for this heritage, a search that required ten years' effort, quite a bit of money, and a lot of luck, we were rewarded with a great deal of family background, several wonderful cousins, as well as two brothers and a sister. His older brother, aunt, and grandparents passed away without his getting to know them. But his sister says he is a gift from God! It can't get much better than that!

Three cheers for New Hampshire, Oregon, Alabama, Alaska, and Kansas for doing the right thing!


Let's see if I got this right:  The birth parent(s) must always be protected from embarrassment! I say to that "Hogwash!" I say "Who will speak for the children?"

Barbara
Tustin, CA
The Orange County Register

In response to your request for input on making records available to adopted children, I would suggest that if that information is necessary for medical background reasons alone, there should be a method for releasing ONLY that information. My situation was not very pleasant when, after 32 years following my twins' adoption at birth, I received a call from one of them. The birth parent runs the gamut of shock, then renewed shame, then worry about what tomorrow will bring when such an emotional interruption occurs.
I gave my daughter all the medical history she needed, we corresponded for a while, but then our individual and very different lives (thankfully) carried on. I doubt there are a great many "reuinions" after such a long time that are ever as sweet as portrayed on the screen. I was not in a particularly "good place" at the time, and neither was she.
Mary
Brandon VT
(The Rutland Herald)

Dear Mr. Seglin:

Adoption agencies and the entities backed by them are the biggest proponents of sealed records. They claim they have a concern about protecting the privacy of birth mothers, but, I do not believe that is the case. Agencies wish to protect the privacy of their records for their own self-interests, I believe.

As a reunited birth mom, active in the adoption community, I know many birth moms, but, I don't know ANY who feel the need to have their identities kept secret from the children they relinquished. Most dispute the fact that they ever were promised confidentiality. Sealed records and closed adoptions for decades were not an option, but the norm. ALL the birth moms I know who are not reunited are either actively searching or would love to be found. Sealed records do not prevent reunions, they just make them more difficult.

Birth should not be an anonymous event - a woman who gives birth has a responsibility to her child, even if she does not raise that child. It is immoral and cruel in my opinion to deny her child even basic information about its roots.

But, what about those women who never told ANYONE about their relinquished child and have spent years guarding their "secret"? Is it fair to them to now open records they may have believed were sealed forever?

I was one of those women - I had told no one - not my husband - other children - friends - no one. Fear, shame and guilt kept me silent for over thirty years until one one night I got a phone call from a stranger. "Your son is searching for you." - she told me. Over three years have passed since that call, I now wake up each morning and am thankful my son had the courage and curiosity to find me. I did not know I wanted or needed to be found - I was wrong.

Jan
Sierra Madre, California

I read your article on-line in the Salt Lake Tribune.

I would appreciate knowing if you should decide to include any of my comments in any upcoming columns. If you have additional questions about this issue, I would be happy to give you further input.

I am a birth mother who has been fortunate enough to
meet my son when he was 19 in May 2001.
I am all for open access to birth certificates for
adoptees. In 1993, after 18 months of going to
doctors, my sister was diagnosed at age 33 with Stage
IV Ovarian cancer. She died May 20, 1998. Because of
her diagnosis, we found out more family medical
history on my father's side of the family, people I
have never known. (I'm now 40)Not only did my paternal
granmother die of Ovarian Cancer, something we did not
know before my sister's diagnosis, we also found out
Breast cancer and Diabetes run rampamt in my family.
Also Alzheimer's. And I suspect there is more that my
aunt did not tell me. In 1993, my son was 12. I
notified the adoption agency of this new info and was
told they would pass this on IF my son or his family
contacted them. Legally, they were not allowed to
contact them. What if I had a girl instead of a boy?
The cancer history would be vital(as well as the
Diabetes). Either way, this is vital information an
adoptee needs to have access to.
I've known adoptees that didn't find out they were
adopted until their parents died. I've known birth
mothers who have died before meeting the child they
gave up. I also know adoptees who have no desire to
know the biological parents, but do want medical
history.
As far as privacy for the birth parents, there is no
way they can realistically expect that child won't
search for them. Most adoptees do search. The only way
to avoid being found, especially in this day and age,
is to legally change their name and if possible, their
social security number. That may not be a guarantee
they won't be found.
I realize some birth mothers feel shame about having a
child out of wedlock and giving them up. I am NOT one
of them. Then insisting on privacy. These women have
not moved on with their lives. They've just been
existing and more than likely, just as not dealing
with the emotional issues of giving up a child, they
probably don't deal well with other emotional
problems. Some birth mothers, later in life, don't
tell their husband and/or future kids about the one
they gave up. What are they going to say if that child
knocks on the door or calls, but reaches the husband
or sibling instead of the birth mother. How is she
going to explain her deception to not only her current
family, but the child she gave up as well?
For me, yes, giving up my son was like a death without
closure until we met. But like death, you grieve, you
think of this person, but you move on with life. Not a
day went by that I didn't think of my son. But it did
not stop me from moving forward. I have a wonderful 19
year old son (the other is 23), a great husband and
have had a good life. I was one of the lucky ones to
have met my son when he was at a young age AND have an
ongoing, wonderful relationship with him and his Mom
and Dad.
Open access to birth certificates, YES! Especially to
learn about medical history.
Lynda
Read this piece in the Salt Lake Tribune, 1/15/05

Bill

Wisconsin State Journal

I think it was the wrong thing to do, to open "sealed" records, thereby breaking the implicit or explicit contract/compact/covenant of privacy that the State had/made with the biological parents at the time of their giving up their children.

On the other hand, for the sake of adopted children adopted under a "sealed" situation, it would be the right thing for the State to cooperate (as the "middle man") with adopted children and biological parents who want to receive or give, respectively, information across the "sealed" barrier.

I am an adoptive father of three, one child from Beloit, Wis. and two children from Brazil. They are 25, 25 and 24 years old now, adopted at 6 weeks, 3 years and nearly 2 years.

During their high school years our "Beloitian" was on the high school track team throwing the discus. The Beloit track team came for a meet. One of our Brazilians exclaimed, "There's Sam's brother" the moment she saw a particular Beloit discus thrower who very much resembled our son.

I contacted the agency that had placed Sam with us, to inquire whether the other young man was biologically related to Sam. A couple of weeks later the agency told me that there was no relationship. I believe the social worker but my eyes still wonder "Could that have been ..?".

January 14, 2005
Ref: Making Adoption Records Available.
Dear Mr. Seglin:
I read your articles in the "Wisconsin State Journal" newspaper.
I am an "Adoptive Father". We adopted our two children many years ago, and they are now in their 30’s.
I realize there are exceptions to some of the points I am about to make.
The days that my wife and I "finalized" the adoption were two of the most happiest days of my life.
Being a Dad has given me so many joys, and at times some tribulations too. All is this goes with being a
parent. To those things, we are no exception.
During the growing up years of our son and daughter I read and saw many things concerning the opening of Adoption Records that had once been sealed. Our children always knew that they adopted, so it was not a matter of surprising them with the news. However, when we did discuss this, we told them that
if day came in which they had the desire to search for their birthparents, we would not object.. under
certain conditions.
These conditions were:
1. They must be 18 and finished High School. We felt that they needed to keep their focus on this part of their lives without adding possible complications.
2. That we would use an "Intermediary", (the original Adoption Agency), to make any initial contact
with the birth parents. Thus, if they did not want contact, their privacy would be respected.
3. That they had to understand that opening that door was something that they could not undo,
that is, whatever they found, good or bad.
4. We always stressed that their birth parent gave hem a precious gift..life. And that we were
were grateful for their generosity and love; because without that we would not have
gotten to be parents.
My son did search for his birth mother and was successful in doing so. He went to meet her and we sent
Along a letter and photos of his younger years so she could see how well he turned out. She sent back a wonderful letter. Since then, they have had occasional contact, but nothing over done. Our son said it best while talking to his sister about it. "I might look like my birth mom, but what I am is because of how mom and dad raised me ". Talk about bringing a tear to your eyes!
As for our Daughter; her birth mom was contacted and chose no contact. My daughter is disappointed, but
understands. We are disappointed for her. We told her that perhaps someday this would change. We hope so.
In the meantime, I have some final points.
I would like it to be known that when I took on the privilege of being a Dad; that it was not a "Fill-in-until-you-get back" deal. I was not going to be as fill-in. I was Dad, flat and simple. I have seen these
"Reunions" where some search outfit finds the birth parents, and there is the big reunion. They seem to always depict the birth parents "Blubbering" " I always loved you"…’Boo Hoo’…. and now they want to
jump in and take over being mom and dad again. What bothers me about this is that they seem to
trample the adoptive parents in this episode.
At the same time, I have known of some adopted children "Barging" in on an unsuspecting birth
parent who was assured complete privacy at the time. This is wrong.
I believe the law should require a bona fide and certified adoption agency to do the search as
an "Intermediary". That way, all sides are protected. It should be illegal for private persons
or other search groups to breech the confidentiality of those adoption records.
That only Court Ordered directives can access these records other than the adoption agency.
Thanks,
Lyman

Sir:

I think when we think of the enormity of what placing a child up for adoption means-we must first-think of this: It is a living little human being-a PERSON -not a puppy or a  kitten.

When I was a young girl-most adopted children did not KNOW that they were adopted and I believed then that THAT was the way it should be. If the birth mother was unmarried-it was a scandal to have a child and all concerned were protected from that.

Now that I am older-and with the medical history so much more important with the advance of modern science-I have totally changed my mind. It is a (right) of any child to know their chance of inheriting a health problem.

Also-secrets are not kept in this day and age-and SOMEONE knows the circumstances in a case of (giving a child up) or adopting one. I think - for the benefit of the child - who IS the important one-they should be entitled to know their birth parents.
If-as they say- they are giving the child up for ITS sake-then go the distance and give them every detail and they can decide if they wish to make contact or not. As I said - we are not  talking puppies and kittens. As much confidentiality should be used as possible that the information is for the adoptee only.

I do not believe however-that once people have adopted the child-they should EVER have to give them up if biological parents minds change.
                            
Betty

Wisconsin

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in the e-mails to The Right Thing: Sound Off section of this Web site are solely the views of the those who sent them. They do not reflect the views of Jeff Seglin, The New York Times Syndicate or The New York Times Company.